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A Bit Distracted

I have had a difficulty from time to time of stretching myself far to thin and not giving some stuff enough attention that it stays current and shows that little bit extra. I would be lying if I said YouTube has been taken care of well in recent weeks and I could easily blame it on my vacation coming up, but that'd be a lie and an easy excuse. It's not that I'm uninterested in giving YouTube a serious try it's more the sitting down and doing without getting distracted or starting to do something else that I can get done easier. I know that doesn't come off well for me, but I've really just been giving all my attention to one specific part of my life that I've been ignoring every other aspect. 

I will not make any guarantee for anything, but what I can say is suddenly I feel a lot more motivated then I have in the past and I think I found the reason for the lacking interest. I know balancing time a little better might help a little bit too, and I will be doing that to or starting to try and do that. The best way to put it is that I've been very distracted in recent months, but yesterday I felt almost like I woke up and felt extremely different then I had. I never really been the most motivated person in the world for a variety of reasons. Mostly the reason for this is that I look for the easily achievable goals rather then trying for goals that are hard to achieve this way if I lose motivation I could still achieve the goal. 

As the months go by I'm learning more and more about myself as the days go by and I never knew how much I had to learn or how easy it was to learn if you focused and just took a chance to dig into yourself. I have never really dug into myself, because I thought I could figure everything out just by staying on the surface. I will admit that I was completely wrong, and that gratitude is earned not given to anyone including to yourself. 

I have had a hard time coming to the conclusion that sometimes you need to stay motivated or you will just give up easily on everything that you attempt to accomplish. I know from experience that I usually gave up on everything I tried to accomplish way to easily until this year. I haven't changed who I am as I'm currently still forming who I want to be I guess you've found me at an interesting time in my life. I've never been more confident or grateful or humble or self aware, but I know that it isn't over yet. I can still become more confident, grateful and self aware, being more humble is a slippery slop that needs to be controlled to avoid being too humble. Speaking of control I've never felt more in control of my negative self or the bad habits I once let control me and keep me from not only trying new things, but forming any new relationships. 

This wasn't suppose to be a therapy session, but I got a little distracted! 

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